Something I’ve found very helpful recently is turning moments that would previously have inflicted emotional pain on me into moments of gratitude. When I am in a rush to arrive somewhere on time and realize 10 minutes into my drive that I forgot my wallet at home, previously I would have filed this under a painful mistake. I would view it as a moment of failure, a failure in planning properly, in preparing before doing. Instead, nowadays when this happens I thank my Mind for its awareness, which allows me to double back to retrieve my wallet while I’m still within reasonable range of my house.

When I argue with my spouse, and feel as though she is being unreasonable or not understanding my point of view, previously I would have filed this as a moment of bitter misunderstanding, an indicator of conflict damaging the relationship. Instead, nowadays I remind myself “I chose this person, not because they are like me, but because I saw something in them that I admired by its difference from myself.”

I use these moments of gratitude to define a world where, instead of reacting to pain, I am constantly affirming my own ability to reason & choose. I must continue to build these muscles of gratitude in order to continue to grow.