The first cycle of Q1 has completed! It stretched from December 29th to January 25th, and the assigned goal was to update the diet and meal plan. We have not accomplished this goal. It appears the goal was too vague, or perhaps we were unable to plan successfully towards completing it. I would also say, accommodations-wise, that this last month (January) has been particularly challenging, and we’ve seen a lot of mood and activity degradation as well.

Chalking this cycle up as a loss, we take a look at the next cycle (Jan 26 – Feb 22) and try and apply some lessons learned here. If the goal was too vague previously, we should create a more specific goal for this cycle. Our specific goal is going to be to Install a doorknob in the basement laundry room door. That’s a nice specific goal. Accommodations-wise, we do not expect that February will be as particularly challenging as January, but what if it is? We should assign 1 day per week to designate an hour towards accomplishing this goal. Planning for the future, I know that this cycle will be dominated by a trip to Europe midway through, so I need to make sure that we are factoring this into planning. How do we factor it into planning? Perhaps by ensuring that even if a week is spent away from home, we spend a compensatory hour on a different day, either before or after the trip.

Its been a difficult January. Most of that difficulty seems to be coming from processing difficult feelings regarding my parents. I don’t want to speak with them at the moment, and I’m finding a lot of rumination is occurring as well, leading to increased overall negativity. My energy levels are dramatically reduced, and my mood has been flopping from general lowness to brief heights, before collapsing back down again. Is this emotional processing? How can I help it along, if that’s the case.

It feels unfair and destabilizing to have such a dramatic reaction to seeing my parents. I wish that I could meet them for a nice meal and a few hours of conversation and return to my life without this deluge of fatigue, worry, and dismay. But it’s occurring for a reason, I think. And that reason is that I’m holding onto some sort of expectation, which the conversation with my parents either challenges or reminds me of, and these thoughts are related to that expectation.

I’m still feeling tension physically, emotionally, and spiritually, even a few weeks later. There have been other factors which may have destabilized my mood, but I think that this is the primary one.

Now for some good news. Even feeling spent and fatigued as I have been, and with minimal engagement, we are still on track to pass 300 activities this month. I could be disappointed, compare with the 400s of the last few months, but given that those activity levels were occurring alongside high mood and with significantly more effort, I think that hitting 300 mid slump feels like quite an accomplishment.